Lexical Unit

05:48 pm - Pinhead Teacher Trashes Linux

Not much to say really. Take a look at the kind of people educating children these days. Reading the father's response is awesome in a totally fuck yeah way, so enjoy!

11:19 am - Games I'm Looking Forward To

Oboro Muramasa Youtouden


Spore


Brutal Legend


Fallout 3


Sonic Chronicles


Mother 3


Sonic Unleashed


Next Gen Prince of Persia

02:33 pm - The Dead Elephant

You know how when someone has an obligation to do something they would rather not do? They tend to procrastinate.

Well imagine that they procrastinate for three months. You remind them occasionally about their obligation during this time, but never do your reminders result in action. For those of you who are good at imagining things, you probably feel pretty exhausted right now. Sorry about that.

Finally after three months the procrastination ends and action begins. So ponderous, like testing the water with your toes. So much time has gone by that they hope you might have forgotten how much time has gone by, but you remember. Now the water tested and the shocking discovery. It is displeasurable. The procrastinator does not want to jump in just yet.

So what do they do? Procrastinate further of course, but now with concrete excuses.

Not this week, I've got things to do.

Everyone has things to do.

How about next week?

Next week you have nothing to do?

No, but next week is better than this week.

Whatever happened to the previous twelve weeks? Apparently you're a very busy person.

Next week will be different.

11:20 am - God Strikes Again

So I found this article on reddit earlier today about a Illinois Democrat ranting about atheism. Go ahead and listen to the mp3 at the bottom of the page to hear the exchange. What you'll hear is people clapping and applauding the legislator. What you'll hear is someone refusing to let Sherman, the man being addressed by this rant, respond to the attack. What you'll hear is Sherman being totally polite and respectful even in the face of extreme prejudice.

In short, what you'll hear is a women so twisted and deformed by religion, that she can't think properly. And atheism is supposed to be the dangerous "philosophy"?

If Davis, the ranting legislator, is going to throw out a straw man argument and say that Sherman is detestable because he's not doing anything to prevent gun violence, then how about I throw out some of my own straw men? Why isn't religion doing anything to stop the rape of young boys by pastors? Why isn't religion doing anything about the spread of AIDS in Africa? Why isn't religion doing anything to prevent the teaching of misinformation in schools? Why isn't religion helping advance the potentially life saving science of stem-cells? Why isn't religion helping to stop the violence in Iraq and the Middle East?

Davis says that kids knowing about atheism is dangerous. This is nothing more than the age old religious adage of "stay stupid forever." The reason it's dangerous for kids to know about atheism is the same reason it was dangerous for slave owners to let their slaves learn to read. Knowledge is power. It's easier to control ignorant people. The irony here is that Davis herself is black and should have learned from her ancestors and her past the lesson that trying to control people in this way is doomed to failure.

04:02 pm - Scott Watson, Closeted Douche

So earlier today I was checking my facebook profile as I usually do whenever I have some downtime at work and I noticed a new friend request. Scott Watson wanted to be my friend! "Oh boy," I thought, "what a neat thing this is." I wondered how I knew this person. Surely I knew Scott somehow because otherwise why would he want to be my friend? Well I just didn't know. Maybe I met him when I was so drunk that I forgot it all happened (Something Scott is all too familiar with, see picture below). Regardless, I sent him a message asking for a bit of clarification on the matter.

Me: Friend request? And you would be...

Scott: jesus christ u are a faggot

Needless to say I was a bit surprised; I had no idea Jesus Christ was a faggot! Also a bit appalling was Scott's miscapitalization of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. I'm sure it was just an honest mistake, I mean it must be hard hitting two keys on the keyboard at the same time when you've only got one free hand. Well, I assume Scott only had one free hand at the time because in my mind I envisaged Scott typing up that response while watching some quality hardcore Saviour on Saviour action, possibly a pornography involving Jesus Christ and Muhammad. I mean the revelation that Jesus Christ is a faggot had to come from somewhere, right? I know I personally believe everything I see in a pornography! Honestly though, I'm not sure how Jesus would feel about his relationship with Muhammad being made into a 21st century pornography. Especially regarding that whole Muhammad icon taboo thing.

Well, whatever gets your rocks off there Scott, I don't fault you really getting to know yourself and your Messiah a little better while you were typing out that response, even if it meant you had to forgo the little things like spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. Don't worry, your message came across loud and clear: You're a closeted homosexual and you want me to help you by being your new friend! Well of course I'll be your friend, pal. All you had to do was ask, and you did!

Oh but then I got to thinking further. Maybe I'm misreading his message? It's hard to tell because of the missing punctuation and all. Damn that money-shot scene involving Christ cumming on Muhammad's chest! If only Scott's favorite pornography were less explicit, then I'm sure Scott wouldn't have had to gently stroke on his cock to relieve himself while he was typing up his reply to my query.

I thought, it's possible Scott is just very confused and frightened about being closeted. Maybe all his friends make gay jokes all the time and he secretly wishes he had the integrity, honesty, and courage to tell them to stop degrading his sexual orientation. Maybe it finally got to him and his mind snapped. You could read his message to mean that he thinks I'm Jesus Christ, and I'm a faggot. Oh that poor boy. He may very well look up to me and seek my forgiveness and blessings. I had to figure out which it was. Did he mean I was gay Jesus or just that Jesus was gay? So I sent him another message. I tried to be nice and reassuring while also pointing out that I certainly wasn't Jesus nor was I a faggot. Bisexual sure, but I always associated the word faggot with strictly homosexual. That or a bundle of sticks and branches, but hopefully Scott isn't so confused that he mistook me or Jesus for a bunch of dry twigs. I mean, no one's that stupid, right Scott?

Me: Last I checked I wasn't Jesus Christ or a faggot. But maybe if you ask me real nice I can be, just for you.

I added that second sentence just in case he really does think I'm Jesus Christ. I didn't want to bring him down too hard, so I had to make it seem like I was willing to be a part of his fantasy world. At least for now, until he gets used to the idea that neither I nor Jesus Christ want to bang him in the ass. Well, at least not bareback anyway! Come on Scott, think about hygiene for Christ's sake!

Well anyway. While I eagerly await his next reply I printed out some pictures of him (seen below) and put them in my wallet. Sometimes when I get lonely I just sneak a quick peek at them and remember: Somebody thinks I'm a saint.

God bless ya, Scott. ttyl!


Here's Scott having a quick shot of something to wash down his beer.


Here he is pitching his new idea to his drunk boss.


Scott on the job cleaning up tables at a local restaurant. Can't let the beer go to waste!


Scott forgot which beer was his so he just drank both of them.


"Scott! You don't need another beer, you've had too much to drink already!"
Scott: Whaaaaa, Nigga please!


Scott found some corn in his pants; what a surprise!


Look at him daydreaming in the background. Oh Scott, I'm thinking of Jesus's cock too!

10:23 pm - Tries For Fun

So for a while now I've been working on implementing a really nice trie in C++ in the style of a STL container. The reason for this was that I wanted to use a trie to implement a search in my photo website. The problem with that is I had to write it in PHP, which sucks. Since I hardly know PHP I decided to model a trie in C++ first. Along the way I found out there's lots to C++ that I can still learn! (or at least get much more practice with...)

I've finally got the code to where I feel like I won't be too ashamed of myself if eyes other than my own view it, so I'm putting it out for any and all to see.

( Source and discussion within )

Download: trie.tar.gz (12kb)

04:51 pm - Scientologists, Supreme Scumbags

If you are one, then congratulations on being worthless.

03:37 pm - Crazy Conservatives Cum on Christ

Ok I just got carried away with alliteration there, this post contains no descriptions of bukakke Christ, unfortunately. The original title, before the spirit of Alan Moore took me over, was simply "Crazy Conservatives."

Apparently Mike Huckabee, the guy Christian social conservatives are championing as the best candidate for Leader of the Free World^TM, is the only guy willing to put a stop to rampant "publicly endorsed and institutionalized ... pedophilia and necrophilia." How can we not vote for him — knowing what's at stake!

Ok, after reading that article I hope we've all learned a lesson here. No it's not that pedophilia, necrophilia, environmentalism, and homosexuality are synonyms — It's that All social conservatives and fundamental religious peoples of the word are completely, totally, undeniably, fucking insane.

Yup. Hate to be the bearer of bad news here folks. Ok, everyone who worships God get in line in front of the de-brainwash-atizer and wait your turns. Let's just try to make this process as quick as possible folks.

02:49 pm - How I Got Arrested

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I become arrested in a town called Austin.

Earlier today I was called into a conference room by two special agents of the FBI for questioning. This is not cause for alarm. My boss has the same thing happen to him every 5 years. You see, the DoD likes to keep up to date on all of its information. So agents stop by and ask very importantTM questions every now and then, like: Have you been doing anything illegal since last time we talked? It's ok, you can tell me.

For me, this was finally my initial security interview for my Secret clearance. The only sticking point was the fact that, according to Texas police records, I was arrested for fleeing the scene of a traffic incident on the 6th of August, 2006.

Me: Whaa?

Now, if you remember, I was in a car accident on that day. And the person that hit me fled the scene and was later arrested that same day after being caught by the police. Apparently the officer that wrote the report on this incident must have had selective dyslexia because he wrote my name in the perpetrator field and the name of the person who hit me in the victim field. Oops

After explaining what happened, the agents just smiled and said, "Oh yeah, stuff like this happens all the time. We'll get it all worked out."

Me: Erm?

So yeah, I was arrested -- And I didn't even know about it!

10:01 pm - Dream Journal Pays Off

I've been keeping a dream journal for a while now in an attempt to have controlled lucid dreaming. The idea is simple enough, you just repeat to yourself "I'm dreaming" as you fall asleep at night and you always try and write down your dreams in a journal to try and increase your ability to have more and more detailed dreams. I mean, if just doing that can get me really cool dreams at night, why not try? Besides, keeping a dream journal is pretty fun.

So I had a semi-lucid dream last night. It started out not lucid at all but near the very end when I was starting to wake up it became lucid in that I realized I was dreaming. At this point in the dream I was dreaming about dog poo, so it wasn't a very exciting experience. None the less, it was the longest and most detailed dream I've had since starting the journal. Since it was so weird and interesting, ( here is my dream journal entry. )

Interesting? Weird? Fucked up? You be the judge. Or not. I guess if you're lazy or something then you don't have to judge if you don't want to.

08:26 am - SQL Hates You Back

I was reading Something Awful today and came across this quote by a poster by the name of teapot:

I have approximately the same desire to specialize in writing SQL queries and to mine uranium, package it into containers made of asbestos, all the while fighting off poisonous snakes under the management of Steve Ballmer.

07:45 pm - Fat People are Lazy

Yes, it's true. If you're fat, you are a lazy slob. Don't try and deny it, it is the simple truth.

Today at Smoothie King I waited in line behind a fat couple getting extra large strawberry smoothies while I thought, "you know, you're fat because you drink extra large strawberry smoothies..." to myself. When they finally paid for their treats and left, I quietly waited while the Smoothie King employee (a 30 something red head from Ireland) whipped up my small high protein chocolate workout shake.

After a few minutes the fat man comes hobbling back in and asks me if I'm the owner of the Honda parked out front. "Yes," I reply with a quizzical look on my face.

"You need to move it now, it's too close to our car."

I gave my best Dr. Spock that's illogical raised eyebrow expression as I looked out the window at my car. It was parked between the white lines exactly in the middle. There was half a foot of space to both the left and the right of my car. I looked then at their car, it was the one with the 300 pound hippo next to it. It was also directly in between the white lines. Regardless, I responded in a cordial manner, "I'll be happy to move it just as soon as I get my drink, I'm leaving then anyway. It'll only be a second." As I spoke I gestured toward the Irish lady who was working ever so quickly to create my drink.

The fat man was halfway out the door as I finished my sentence and then he spun around and said sternly, "no! You'll move it now."

Cue ultra super Dr. Spock that's illogical raised eyebrows. "Fine," I say, and start toward the door.

"My girlfriend can't even get in the door you're too close!" the fat man explains as I walk by him.

I stop and look at him directly and say, "that's not my fault." Then I continue on my way out the door. As I get in my car the 300 pound hippo mutters a few words of apology, "don't worry about it," I say as I open my car door.

Then the fat man steps outside and exclaims to the 300 pound hippo, "it's not his fault!" His words dripping with sarcasm.

Fat people reading this post. You are fat by conscious choice. You went out of your way to be fat. You decided knowingly to eat too much and exercise too little. Whatever accommodation people give you for your choice, it is at their discretion and you are to be grateful if they offer any at all. If you don't agree with me on this, it is because you are stupid and wrong. That is all.

03:15 pm - Slow Day at Work

Noting very interesting to post but here's a simple update all the same.

Finally got a Wii and picked up the new Mario Paper game. It's pretty dang awesome but not like the other Paper Mario games. The new one is more action adventure rather than RPG.

Started taking Adoxa for acne and it makes me feel bleghflpt.

Oh yeah, got a dog, named her Samus (she's orange). I guess I should make an update about the dog well, it can wait, right now I'm at work.

Speaking of which, back to work.

03:13 pm - Nerds Laugh

The following made me laugh at work the other day.

I have a structure for storing data relating to dataType, product, streamIndex, etc... In the constructor I wrote out the parameters in shorthand b/c I'm lazy. So we have:

Structure::Structure(string adt, string ap, uint asi, ...)

Now my boss comes along and says he wants the structure to have a sort order independent of the key values, so he adds the data member string Structure::sortString.

When I pulled his changeset from the repository and looked over the code to see if he had done it correctly, I noticed he did a very good job of maintaining my code style in the changes he made, even in the constructor.

;)

04:14 pm - Park Exploration

Just yesterday I drove my car to a suspicious looking path leading directly into a forest by the side of Amherst (a road I take on the way into work everyday). There were no trespassing signs so I figured why not.

First it started off like a nice walking trail, then it emptied out into a large park area where people were walking their dogs and stuff. Only, it split into a little path leading directly into the forest or the larger walking path that circled around the park area. I took the little path into the forest. The path was really narrow and there were a number of times where the path seemed to fade away for a little while before picking back up again. Parts of the path were covered in rocks and fallen trees. I passed over creek beds and large hills and wound around in the heavily wooded area.

Eventually I came to a fork in the path, I took the fork in the direction I figured was deeper into the forest. After a while I came to another fork, and another, and another. I forgot how many forks I came to. At one point I noticed that one of the forks lead out of the forest and into someone's backyard. Pretty cool backyard, I thought, and then took the fork leading back into the forest.

Eventually I was dumped out into a large clearing surrounded on all sides by forest. There were some kids playing Frisbee with a dog. The dog ran up to me and tried to sniff my ass but whenever I made a move he jumped back and ran off afraid. I walked directly across the open area, about 100 yards in diameter, to the other side. There was a large rock formation there I wanted to see. Behind the rocks was another path back into the forest, I took it.

I crossed a large creek with running water and was dumped out onto a semi-paved path, although it was pretty run down and falling apart. It seemed to follow the creek as I walked along it. Every now and then, there'd be sewer manhole covers off to the side of the path. It's very strange to see a forest with it's own plumbing.

Eventually the path took me to a cliff overlooking the creek, I went down the cliff and crossed the creek to get to what I thought was a path on the other side. It didn't really seem like a path at first, but it eventually became one as I walked along it. This new path was much narrower and seemed to be made from mud and rock chunks. It also followed the creek, but on the other side now.

After a while, the path veered away from the creek and struck off into a less dense but much more green area of the forest. It then became a dirt path. As I walked along it, the sounds of cars slowly became louder and louder. I turned a corner and saw a large bridge crossing over the creek. The bridge wasn't really a bridge, but more of a dam or some sort of sewage thing, I'm not sure. It was kinda falling apart and there was a few inches of water rushing over it and moss all over it. I walked across it.

On the other side the trees receded and were replaced mostly by bushes and trash. I saw what looked like the remains of an old bonfire covered in junk. There were lots of barrels and clothes and rocks organized in campfire fashion. I think maybe some homeless dude lived there or something but I hadn't seen anyone since I saw those kids with their dog and Frisbee.

The path eventually ended and opened up onto the side of the road of what looked like a Mo-Pac overpass. I turned back. Before I went back over the bridge again, I struck off into the forest where there was no path because I saw a large green structure in the distance. It turned out to be some sort of water station or something. There was tons of campfire stones and trash here too. I looked around a bit then headed back to the bridge.

From there I backtracked to the creek path and this time I followed the larger creek that was at the top of the cliff rather than the smaller one at the bottom of the cliff. As I walked along I saw lots of places where little paths struck off from the larger path I was on, but I was getting tired and I wanted to see where this large path went.

There were lots of cliffs that I passed by on this path, and cave openings in the side of the cliffs, and little pools of water where the creek washed into. Parts of the path were beginning to melt away where the water was washing it away. Then finally the path ended in a fork of two smaller paths, the one on the left was blocked by a fallen down tree. I climbed over the tree and kept on going down the smaller path on the left.

Now the creek was a little bigger, maybe a foot deep. The little path didn't exactly follow the creek, but it kinda overlooked it at points. Eventually the path took me to the bottom of a overpass on Duval. There was lots of graffiti on the bridge, a large concrete structure with nothing but a dark tunnel underneath to qualify it as a "bridge."

The creek had turned into a large sewage lake that went through the tunnel in the bridge. There was a path up the side of the bridge that took me right out onto Duval, about a block away from the intersection with Amherst. From there it was about a 5 minute walk up Amherst back to where I had parked my car.

Here's a map of my trek, total walking time aprox. 1 hour:


Also, I forgot my stupid camera (thankfully I didn't see any spectacular wildlife or anything or I'd be pretty mad I couldn't photograph it), so I'll have to do it again and take pictures.

06:48 pm - Cold Dishwashing

No one ever told me that dishwashing soap isn't the same thing as dishwaser soap.


It's also very cold outside. Look at the layer of ice on bigreddot's car:

01:42 pm - Photos, Comments, Dinner, and Cats

Dinner at Bryan's place on Saturday.


Luis caught a Dash.

( Now more! )

10:41 pm - Cars, Defensive Driving

I'm taking a short break form doing online defensive driving right now because it's boring and stupid and I'm not going to change my driving habits because of it so I don't see what the point of it is in the first place other than take my money and... agh. Traffic laws! Who needs 'um? You hear that Burnet City Limits? I'm spiting you as hard as I can!

Anyway. Sometime ago when I visited Houston, the worst city on Earth, I locked my keys in my car and had to get a locksmith to open my car for me. But for about two hours previous to the locksmith getting there me and a few of my friends tried jokingly to open my car using a bent clothes hanger. One friend, Luis, tried to get into my car from the sun roof as a joke. Oh what a joke.

There's a 100% chance of rain in Austin tonight and while I was out driving I discovered that my sun roof is now much more of a gaping hole that allows gallons of water to pour over my head than a roof of any sort. Every time my car's acceleration changed, about a cup of water would gush in from underneath the panels fitted around the inside of my sun roof. It's supposed to rain tomorrow too. I believe it's time for duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape. Pictures forthcoming.

Ok now back to defensive driving. Oh what's this? My car needs to have gas to run? My word, I had no idea! Thank you mister writer of online defensive driving class. What would I do without you?


See. Speeding isn't a problem at all!


There's a Queen CD in my car right now.

01:31 pm - Random Holiday News

So this holiday season I came out to my brother and my dad. They were both just fine with it. I spent time with James, Melissa, and Mark and got what they had as a result of that. Sore throat and snot, lots of snot. James had his 500 dollar leather jacket stolen from a movie theater on Christmas day, he works there. Max was terrorized with bows, as per tradition.


On my trip home (8 hour drive), my parents followed me to San Angelo on the way to Austin so I could see the new lake house they are building for their retierment.


Got home late yesterday, sick and tired. bigreddot took good care of me though, and I was feeling a little better when I went to sleep at 8pm. Then I slept until noon today. I'm still feeling a little down, but I think I'm slowly getting over the sickness.

Other than getting sick, this has been the best holiday season of my life. I feel like a nutcase for admitting this, but last night I cried for about a minute just before falling asleep due to being overwhelmed with happiness. If you ask me about that in person though, I'll deny it up and down.

01:44 am - Magic Santa Visits Midland

It's Christmas day, 1:45am, and I'll sleep soon. I'm spending Commercial Gift Giving Season with my family in Midland. Earlier today we all played some card game called Blitz. Max must have seen us having fun and figured he would join in. I lost that hand.